Homo Bait
by fallen-forgotten-faith
Summary: When homosexuality becomes illegal, and your father hires your best friend & crush as "homo bait",what can you do? Join him to protect him; duh. SasuNaru.
1. Chapter 1

in my country; this was actually what was done 10 plus years ago! Plain clothes policemen would patrol popular gay-cruising spots, and arrest whoever approached them for sex!

Sad, huh? Till today, gay sex is still criminalized!

Either way, I hope you'll like the story!

**The Job. **

Sasuke didn't like the police HQ much. The floors were waxed way more than they needed to be, which made his walking slightly wobbly. The place wasn't exactly a cheery place, either. It was kind of like a hospital, with people walking around in uniforms, clutching brown files and envelopes and discussing important matters. It was all too serious for him. Which was kind of ironic, seeing as he wasn't exactly the outgoing, life-of-the-party guy himself. _That_ was Naruto.

"Sasuke-kun," greeted the receptionist, with a polite nod of the head. She was a kindly old lady, nearing 50, and she was allowed to call him that because she had seen him grow from a sulky little toddler to the brooding young man of 21 he was now.

"Aikawa-san," he replied curtly.

"Sixth floor as usual. Your father's in his office, talking to your friend. The one with blonde hair and blue eyes."

Naruto? That was definitely strange. What business would his father have with Naruto, of all people? He only knew him as Sasuke's best friend, nothing more, and when they had met, there had only been a polite exchange of customary greetings and small talk.

He tried his best to hurry without slipping, and as he walked he tried to come up with logical reasons as to why Naruto would be _talking _to his father. Perhaps it was something to do with himself. Maybe Naruto had figured out that Sasuke was desperately in love with him and wanted to warn his father about his son's sexual orientation? Nah.

Maybe Naruto was planning to throw a surprise birthday party! But that was dumb. His 21st birthday had passed 3 months ago. And either way, he highly doubted that Naruto would join forces with his dad for a party, surprise or not.

The 'ding' of the elevator as it opened its doors to reveal the sixth floor only served to make Sasuke even more anxious. Just what the hell was going on, damn it!

He quickened his pace, thanking God for the carpeted floor (higher levels had privileges). As he approached, he could hear wisps of the conversation. The door wasn't shut, so it couldn't have been a very private thing.

"But look at you!" His father was saying, in a tone he hardly used on Sasuke, "in that orange singlet and boardshorts, any guy would…"

_Would what?_ Sasuke wondered, though his mind finished the sentence. _Want to jump you. _

He colored slightly at the realization of what he'd just thought, but it was true. His best friend was hot, that was an undeniable fact. Muscled, but not the bulging bicep-kind, and slightly dark-skinned, thanks to all the time he spent outside shooting the hoops and what not.

"Bu- But I'm not gay!" cried Naruto, in what Sasuke took to be total panic.

Sasuke swore his heart skipped a beat and went thud. He'd rather not have heard that. It would have been nice to go on dreaming for eternity that one day Naruto would wake up and suddenly reciprocate Sasuke's feelings, instead of hearing the truth straight and harsh from his mouth like that.

"Ah, but that does not matter," his father said, and by now, Sasuke had fastened himself to the wall beside the door. "They will not know."

"Why can't you get Sasuke instead?" Naruto whined. "He's way prettier. The guys would be after him like bees after honey."

"Good point. Maybe both of you could work together."

_Guys after him like bees after honey? Work together? Whaaa?_

This was why they always warned that eavesdroppers never heard anything good about themselves. Okay, so technically, Naruto had just paid him a compliment, but still. What job were they going to be doing?

"Yeah, and he could be my protector or something. Awesome! I'm sure he'll agree, with my great persuasive skills." Sasuke could imagine Naruto smiling cockily as he said that. It was true, Sasuke would give in to Naruto most of the time, but that was because he loved him and besides, they were minor demands anyway. But this…

"Alright. Thank you, Naruto. If it's okay with you, you might want to start as soon as possible…_those people_ need to be gotten rid of."

"No problem!"

Sasuke knew this should have been his cue to run and pretend that he'd never heard a word, but he was rooted to the spot. And before he could even decipher what his father had meant by _those people_, Naruto had spotted him.

"Aha! You!" he yelled, poking Sasuke in the chest.

"Ow! What the hell, dobe!"

"Eavesdropping, were you?" Naruto teased, smirking.

"NO!" he was a bad liar, though. Blushing always gave it away.

"Is Sasuke there, Naruto? You might as well bring him in, and we can discuss the matter further." His father's voice sounded muffled, almost. Probably reading the papers.

"Yes, sir." Naruto flashed a scowling Sasuke a huge grin before dragging him into the office. It was a typical office, with a potted plant in the corner, shelves full of books and files, and the must-have black armchair, which his father was currently sitting on. Add to that two hard chairs which Sasuke and Naruto proceeded to plop themselves on, and there you had it. The chief's office.

"Now, Sasuke," his father said, still talking with the papers burying his face and acting as a sort of barrier, "as you know, I'm making homosexuality illegal."

Sasuke didn't know what was worse.

Naruto saying that he wasn't gay, or _this._

Somehow he had a feeling today would go on the list of the worst days ever in his life.

"And to catch these…vermin, we need bait. Plain clothes policemen who handcuff them the minute they lay a pick-up line on them. So I asked Naruto, whom I thought would be a good choice, and if you wish, you may join him. The pay isn't bad, and you can do it anytime you want. Just think of it as a part-time job."

Part-time job? Capturing innocent beings just like him? He'd rather stuff lettuce in burgers at McDonalds, thank you. But still…guys picking up Naruto…

"Please, teme? Some of them might be real scary…why, they may even try to molest me!" Naruto pleaded, in that trademark fake puppy dog routine.

Molest, eh. Well, maybe he should consider taking up the job after all….

"And we can hang out more often this way, ne?"

Hn. More bonding time? That was a plus. Though he didn't really see how they could bond if they were supposed to be handcuffing people the minute they said a word, he figured being next to Naruto for a few more minutes, hours, whatever a day would be fine.

"Okay. I'm in."


	2. Chapter 2

_Dear SASUNARU fans…_

_Don't give up faith! I know NaruHina seems pretty canon (I got real upset that day) and SasuKarin/SasuSaku still has potential, but never ever let the love fade! (:_

_Onwards! And people, review, please? __**–Wheedles-**_

**The Day.**

"So the minute a guy comes up to me and says hi, I whip out the handcuffs?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I don't think so. Maybe you only do that when you know, the guy says something suggestive, like…a cheesy pick-up line."

"…Those aren't suggestive, Sasuke, they're _jokes. _They're _cheesy. They never work." _Naruto rolled his eyes, though he was a closet fan of cheesy pick-up lines. They made him laugh a lot. I mean,

_Did it hurt?_

_What?_

_When you fell from heaven? _

Absolute classic.

Sasuke chewed on his lower lip. Naruto had a point. And another thing…

"We shouldn't be standing so close, dobe. People will think we're together or something, and avoid us, and we won't get to arrest anyone!"

Naruto grinned. "Precisely."

Oh…. he could see those gears turning, now.

But no, his dad would skin them alive, but not before somehow figuring out that his son was part of the "vermin" as well, then accusing Naruto of "brainwashing his dear son" and roasting them both alive on an open fire.

Not that Naruto was gay, Sasuke reminded himself sadly. He'd spent kindergarten and primary school with him as a best friend, secondary school as a sworn brother, and somewhere along the way, when they turned 15, he thought there was more to what they were than that.

Naruto had liked Sakura, an annoyingly clingy girl who leapt at every opportunity she had to flirt with Sasuke, who had absolutely no interest. Over time, he grew accustomed to her though, and they became friends of sorts.

Naruto, like him, had never had a relationship either. They had spent the high school years single but crushing (Naruto on Sakura, and Sasuke on Naruto), and it never occurred to them that it was weird that everyone else was dating, except for them. Even Sakura had decided that her efforts would never come to fruition, and decided to date Sai (people later theorized that this was because he supposedly resembled Sasuke, something both Naruto and Sasuke vehemently denied).

So by right, both of them had never had any firsts. In the romance department, anyway. They certainly had their fair share of drunkenness and rated movies. Sasuke was relieved by that, he was admittedly the possessive type, and it wouldn't be right if they had dated others before.

Wait. He was speaking as though they were already a couple. He sighed, and realized that blue eyes were boring into him expectantly.

Oh shit, had he just lapsed into silence while traipsing down good ol' memory lane?

"Zoning out, teme?" Naruto asked, amused.

"No, uh…was just wondering how my dad would react if neither of us arrested anyone." A lie, an obvious lie, judging by how red he was turning.

"Riiiight."

Suddenly, Sasuke felt a tap on his shoulder.

It was a guy around their age, and _so obviously a uke._

He had the aura. With floppy brown hair and a nice friendly smile, a smooth complexion and a relatively small, weak-looking frame, this guy looked effeminate with a capital E.

"Hi," The Effeminate Guy said, "might you be interested in-"

Sasuke reached into the back pocket of his jeans for the handcuffs, just in case.

"a se….." Sasuke whipped them out without hesitance, before the poor guy could even finish his sentence.

"…minar?" the guy squeaked, upon the sight of the silver handcuffs.

Sasuke stared dumbly at The Effeminate Guy, as did Naruto.

A seminar?

Oops.

Sasuke could've sworn he was about to say another word that began with 'se'.

"SASUKE, YOU DUMBASS!" yelled Naruto, as The Effeminate Guy ran off, scared shitless.

"What? What? He had the aura!" argued Sasuke.

"What aura?"

"The uke aura!"

Naruto smacked his forehead. "And you're the resident expert?"

Sasuke sighed. "No."

**No. Of men arrested? 0.**

**They were so not gonna get the job done.**

_Ah I apologise for the lameness._

_My brain has been drained of all creativity! BLAME EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE BUT ME!_


End file.
